Friday, July 29, 2011

舉 起 救 恩 的 杯

由於是這次留院完全事出突然,故甚麼也沒有準備,特別是聖經及書籍。

有一天牧師來SMS,說當晚會來看我,問我想要甚麼,我便叫他帶我一本書。
我心想,他一定會帶我大大本,厚厚的英文屬靈書,可能是甚麼面對苦難,他的心頭好清教徒書…好讓我在院中慢慢"輪"!

哈哈,又是計算錯誤!

結局他竟帶來圖文並茂,印刷精美的OMF出版,戴德生及OMF的歷史記念圖冊!
我忘記了他留院間,愛看的是汽車雜誌,將心比心,他以為我也是想看圖畫,少用腦吧!

對於一個不酷歷史,不看愛歷史圖片的我,幸好也能在書的前面的序言,最後的QUOTES,找到一些上心的文字,當然中間重溫戴氏來華的見證,及中國內地會和OMF的成立,也飽受激勵。

原來我也是文字人,而且在醫院真的"餓"看字…就如那次去吃甜品BUFFET,在"LOWNLOWNLALA"位中終於找到一塊鹹餅乾的經驗類同!!!

不過,神真的藉此本冊子提醒我,更新我…

1. Others may be allowed to succeed in making money, but it is likely God will keep you poor, because he wants you to have something far better than gold, and that is a helpless dependence on Him that He may have the privilege(the right) of supplying your needs day by day out of an unseen treasure.

2. So make up your mind that God is an infinite sovereign and has a right to do as He pleases with His own, and he may not explain to you a thousand things that may puzzle your reason in His dealings with you. He will take you at your word, and when you absolutely sell yourself to be His slave he will wrap you in a jealous love.

3. There is commonly 3 stages in the work of God: First impossible, then difficult, then done.

4. Unless there is an element of risk in our exploits of God, there is no need for faith.

5. It is a far greater triumph for Christ to put a man right than to get rid of him. Though we cannot scold them right, we may often love them into right.

6.God's work done in God's way will never lack God's supplies.

7. It is no vain thing to wait upon God!!!

8. 2句他晚年的名言,教我很上心:
~ It is ever true that what costs little is worth little.(真的,no pain no big gain!)

~ 我不能看書,不能思想,甚至不能禱告,但是我能信靠。(對應仍然能看書,思想及禱告的我,很大鼓勵,提醒我,將來就算有一天病到他的程度,我仍然可以信靠神!!!)

翻看一次又一次他的分享,加上友人送來另一本宣教士的傳記,神提醒我信心的重要,禱告的重要,及靈裡作工的重要。

我跑進廁所,跪下向神祈禱: "我信不足,我沒有全然將生命交給你,我沒有完全依靠聖靈行事,求主改變我!"

祈禱後心裡感覺改變不大…

直到出院那個晚上,返到家跪下祈禱,想到神40多來的種種恩情,這10天在院的難忘經歷及自己的裡外更新,我哭了出來,很兇的,很真心的,哭了很久很久…多謝神,深感不配,負了神很多很多,求主赦免,又很想見證神的真實…

想起這段經文:詩篇116:12-14,向神認真祈禱…

116:12 我 拿 甚 麼 報 答 耶 和 華 向 我 所 賜 的 一 切 厚 恩 。
116:13 我 要 舉 起 救 恩 的 杯 、 稱 揚 耶 和 華 的 名 。
116:14 我 要 在 他 眾 民 面 前 向 耶 和 華 還 我 的 願

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